Many English learners and native speakers alike wonder whether they should use conversing or conversating in everyday speech and writing. While both words may sound familiar, only one is widely accepted in standard English.
This confusion often appears on social media, in casual conversations, and even in workplace communication. Because language constantly evolves, it’s easy to assume that similar-sounding words are interchangeable. However, dictionaries, grammar experts, and style guides make an important distinction between these two terms.
In this guide, you’ll learn the difference between conversing or conversating, which word is grammatically correct, where the confusion comes from, and how to use the right word confidently in your writing and speech.
Conversing or Conversating – Quick Answer
The correct and standard English word is conversing.
Conversing is the present participle of the verb converse, which means to talk or communicate with someone.
Conversating is considered nonstandard English. Although some people use it informally, it is generally not accepted in formal writing, academic work, or professional communication.
Correct Example
- We were conversing about our vacation.
- She enjoys conversing with new people.
Informal Example
- They were conversating all night.
Although many people understand the meaning of conversating, grammar experts recommend replacing it with conversing.
What Does Conversing Mean?
Conversing comes from the verb converse, meaning to exchange thoughts, ideas, or information through spoken communication.
It refers to a two-way discussion where people actively listen and respond to one another.
Examples include:
- They spent hours conversing after dinner.
- We enjoy conversing about books.
- She was conversing with her coworkers during lunch.
The word sounds natural in both formal and informal situations.
What Does Conversating Mean?
Conversating is an informal variation created by adding “-ing” to the word “conversate.”
The issue is that conversate itself is considered nonstandard by many dictionaries and grammar authorities.
While millions of English speakers use “conversating” in casual speech, especially in certain regional dialects, it is rarely accepted in professional writing.
For this reason, teachers, editors, and employers generally recommend using conversing instead.
Why Do People Say Conversating?
Many people wonder why they hear “conversating” so often if it isn’t considered standard English.
There are several reasons:
1. It Sounds Natural
Many English verbs end with “-ate,” such as:
- Celebrate
- Graduate
- Educate
People naturally assume “conversate” follows the same pattern.
2. Regional Dialects
Some communities have used “conversate” for decades in everyday speech.
Language changes over time, and regional expressions often become common before dictionaries officially recognize them.
3. Pop Culture
Songs, movies, podcasts, and social media influencers sometimes use “conversating,” making it more familiar to younger audiences.
Is Conversating a Real Word?
This depends on how you define “real.”
Many dictionaries acknowledge that people use conversate and conversating, but they label them as nonstandard or informal.
That means:
- People may understand the word.
- It appears in spoken English.
- It is generally discouraged in formal writing.
If you’re writing an essay, business email, report, or article, choose conversing instead.
Conversing vs. Conversating
Here’s a simple comparison.
| Feature | Conversing | Conversating |
|---|---|---|
| Standard English | Yes | No |
| Formal Writing | Yes | No |
| Academic Use | Yes | No |
| Professional Emails | Yes | No |
| Informal Speech | Yes | Sometimes |
| Dictionary Preference | Yes | Usually marked nonstandard |
In nearly every situation, conversing is the safer and more widely accepted choice.
Examples of Conversing in Sentences
Using the correct word becomes easier when you see it in context.
Examples include:
- We were conversing about our future plans.
- The students were conversing quietly before class started.
- She enjoys conversing with people from different cultures.
- They spent the evening conversing over coffee.
- He was conversing with the customer when I arrived.
These examples demonstrate natural, correct English.
Examples of Conversating in Sentences
Although not recommended in formal writing, you may hear sentences like these:
- They were conversating outside.
- We kept conversating until midnight.
- She loves conversating with everyone.
While understandable, replacing “conversating” with conversing makes each sentence grammatically stronger.
Origin of the Confusion
The confusion between conversing or conversating comes from the existence of the informal verb conversate.
Historically, the standard English verb has always been converse.
Over time, speakers created “conversate” by analogy with other verbs ending in “-ate.” Although the form became common in some dialects and communities, most dictionaries and style guides continue to recommend “converse.”
As a result, conversing remains the preferred form in education, journalism, and professional communication.
When Can You Use Conversating?
There may be situations where using conversating is acceptable.
For example:
- Casual conversations with friends
- Song lyrics
- Fictional dialogue
- Social media posts
- Representing a regional dialect
However, avoid it in:
- School assignments
- College papers
- Business communication
- News articles
- Professional websites
Better Alternatives
If you want to avoid confusion, consider these alternatives:
- Talking
- Speaking
- Chatting
- Discussing
- Communicating
- Having a conversation
- Exchanging ideas
Each works naturally depending on the context.
Common Mistakes
Many writers accidentally make these errors.
Incorrect: We were conversating yesterday.
Correct: We were conversing yesterday.
Incorrect: I enjoy conversating with my coworkers.
Correct: I enjoy conversing with my coworkers.
Remember that converse is already a complete verb, so there is no need to create the form “conversate.”
Tips to Remember
A simple trick is this:
Think of the verb converse.
Present tense:
- I converse.
- You converse.
Present participle:
- Conversing.
Since the base verb is converse, the correct “-ing” form is naturally conversing.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is conversating grammatically correct?
Not in standard English. It is generally considered an informal or nonstandard word.
Which is correct, conversing or conversating?
Conversing is the correct choice in formal and standard English.
Can I use conversating in casual speech?
Yes. Many people use it informally, but avoid it in professional or academic settings.
Why do people say conversating?
It developed through everyday speech and analogy with verbs ending in “-ate.” Pop culture and regional dialects have also contributed to its popularity.
What verb does conversing come from?
It comes from the verb converse, meaning to engage in conversation.
Conclusion
When choosing between conversing or conversating, the best option is conversing. It is the standard, grammatically accepted form used in schools, workplaces, and professional writing. Although conversating appears in casual speech and some regional dialects, it is still considered nonstandard by most dictionaries and grammar experts.
If you want your writing to sound polished, accurate, and professional, stick with conversing. Understanding the difference between conversing or conversating will help you communicate more clearly and confidently in any situation.
